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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Its Tubby Time

Can I just start by saying I remain in disbelief that the University of Minnesota attracted such a high profile coach as Tubby Smith? I am forever grateful towards the backwards, impatient, incest-laden (too mean?) fan base of the Kentucky Wildcats. I am still pinching myself. Thank you so much for dumping a hall of fame coach on a whim. When I heard the news I had a Bobby Jackson/Sam Jacobson inspired flashback of the glory days of old.

I consider myself to be a relatively passionate Minnesota sports fan, so the Dan Monson era was particularly nauseating. I think his sideline presence could be roughly equated to that of that teacher whose class you just dreaded going to growing up. You know what I mean, the one where the only relief in going to it was that at least you got to sit down for the duration. And you would try to find the simplest joys to get through that time. Like, “Yes I am officially loaded with 0.7 mm pencil lead”, or “That doodle totally looks like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos” That was kind of what the players looked like as they trudged over to the bench for every time out. They really just looked forward to sitting down, followed by their stares glazing over, followed by occasional nodding to imply understanding.

But no more! Today, there is a Tub full of excitement in the Barn (I thoroughly apologize for this pun, I know it’s awful, I…I just can’t help myself sometimes…) There is a hope from a fan base desperate for any semblance of hope. I love watching this team play. Colton Iverson and Ralph Sampson III are legit big men that will only get better as they start to shed their freshman jitters and grow into their bodies. Al Nolen is scary quick, often times beating people to the hoop already sagging off of him by 4 or 5 feet. We also have a seemingly limitless supply of capable shooting guards and forwards that Tubby can rotate in and out as he pleases, often times going 10 or 11 men deep as the game progresses.

The great thing is, this is not a fluke. Tubby is a proven recruiter and game planner. He has the team buying into his ball hawking/help side defensive scheme. He also has kept the two best in-state prospects for the 2009 recruiting class, in the freakishly athletic Rodney Williams and the solid Royce White, landing us a top 10 recruiting class. I cannot fathom this team not being a Bracket Buster for as long as Tubby decides to grace us with his presence. For every blood vessel that pops every Vikings game I watch, for every ulcer that is forthcoming due to Sebastian “Seabass” Telfair’s biological need to turn the ball over, I have Tubby. In Tubby we trust.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

If There's a Will There's a Way

What happened to you Will Ferrell?

You were one of the most original comics of the new millennium. You could handle being an Elf in the movie by the same name, being a diabolical mastermind trying to kill the prime minister of Malaysia in Zoolander, and the exceptional portraying of the lovable Frank the Tank in Old School. Very few people have made me the laugh in so many different ways.
That is why I have been so frustrated with the recent Will Ferrell movies. It is like he is not even trying anymore. Sure, they have a few cheap laughs, but they are all just because of the how far-fetched and ridiculous the punch line was. It appears as though Will has run out of ideas. The hackneyed script involving the border-line mediocre John C. Reilly at his side, or Will sporting ridiculous sports apparel has got to go.

Try it. Watch Blades of Glory/Semi-Pro/Talladega Nights back to back to back. You might weep. It is as though the previous movie’s plot was Xeroxed, new actors inserted and a few new cheap gags thrown in for good measure.
Not only are the plots way too predictable, the characters that Ferrell plays are painfully similar.
I am picturing the script writers pitching the idea:
1st writer: “Quick thought, what if Will was a somewhat dim-witted man who made it big in spite of his faults while maintaining an eerie innocence as he crashed and burned, then rose again?”

2nd writer “It’s pure gold! Wait didn’t we just do that?”
1st writer: “No in that one he was a feebleminded nitwit who dramatically goes through ups and downs while trying to remain virtuous.”
2nd writer: “Ah of course, apples and oranges baby! We got a winner!”
I know that this repetition is true of most actors and actresses. Very few can defy the type-cast of their first character that makes it big. But I thought Will would be different. He is too talented to keep letting himself be associated with these dull uninspired scripts.

So go out and find something worthy of your comedic expertise Will. I know you can, because you’ve done it so many times before. Maybe start with another well placed cameo, such as in Wedding Crashers, and ease your way back into this.

Just resist the urge to put on that headband/ice skate/jock strap, and get back to doing what you do best, making me laugh.