Carl, Sage and Zoubek.

I love the classic Vikings response to an obvious problem. Ok, we basically lost our playoff game because we have an inexperienced quarterback who wilted under the pressure. So, let’s trade for… Sage Rosenfels! Oh we definitely need a 31 year old career backup with a 30/29 TD/Int split. Yes, that is the answer. This is like applying a band-aid when we really need a tourniquet. This is like saying we need an infielder…give me Nick Punto! We need a point guard…give me Seabass Telfair! (you get the idea) What stupid thing can the Vikings do next? My guess- Bringing back, this time team-sponsored “love boats” on Lake Minnetonka.

I was in Knudson at Concordia the other day, when I saw a dedication to a room in the form of a plaque. The room was apparently donated by Carl and Carla Wall. This got me thinking, has there ever been marriage between two people with sexually ambiguous names such as Alex and Alex, or Jordan and Jordan? I would assume so due to the sheer volume of marriages there have been. Wouldn’t that be strange? Would the woman keep the last name so that they would not have the exact same name? Think about it…

I would like to continue this post with a “march madness bracket lament.”

For all of you faithful readers, or people just with too much time on your hands, you will recall I proclaimed my 7-10 game picking wizardry, and my 8-9 game downfalls. This year, I got the Oklahoma St pick right, and that alone. I was 1-7 that is correct. I’m embarrassed. Furthermore, my subjective pick of Duke all the way blew up in my face immediately. I couldn’t help it.. I love Duke so. I was up nights rationalizing how they could win, dreaming up the scenarios of their championship run. I had Coach K’s victory speech all ready to go and pictures of Jon Scheyer and Super G hugging emotionally, but heterosexually, all thought out. Hell, even maybe Zoubek dancing like Mark Madsen did in the Lakers Parade. (see link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpbXl5Sp-Wc

Side note- I would like to officially add Zoubek to the Mark Madsen list of “if cock blocks were a statistical category who’s fantasy draft stock would improve the most” list. – conversation with Super G-

-Henderson (shaking head) “Shit guys, its Zoubek, uhhh just play it cool, maybe he won’t see us… no he definitely sees us… shit”
- Zoubek “What’s up playas? We huntin’ some babes tonight?”
-Henderson (now shaking head more emphatically, looking around to Nolan Smith and co. for support)
“Yea totally Brian… we’ll… we’ll call you later” (scamper away frantically)
“K sweet guys, totally psyched!”

I am ashamed I picked a team to go all the way that has Brian Zoubek on its active roster… truly ashamed.

C0dE BreAkER

Nicholas Cage is really starting to wear thin on me. I could tolerate him for a brief part of his career. He is a borderline mediocre actor who has made movies of the like. But, he has type casted himself into the oddest of genres. He has decided to exclusively do movies about code breaking. I was ok with the first national treasure (mostly because of the gratuitous presidential references, but let’s not go there…I love presidents). I mean it was a nice story held together by some cheap gags, and the nerdy guy, Riley, making dry remark time after time.




Next, enter National Treasure 2. Ok a little redundant. But, you know, who am I to judge? They probably made a nice chunk of change, and hey, sequels get made all the time. I am not going to get bent out of shape over this.


But, after seeing the new trailer for the new movie Knowing I have had enough. Coppola has really outdone himself here. But wait!! I thought this article was about Nicholas Cage?!? It is. As many of you know, and some of you are about to know, he is actually the nephewof Francis Ford Coppola. He changed his name so people wouldn’t know that he really hasn’t just been riding the coattails of his uncle for his entire existence. I would like to dub this the “Drew Barrymore Complex,” where people are overrated actors because of who their relatives are/were, and would never make it on talent alone ever.
The premise of knowing is…get this… “Nicholas Cage sees a pattern/code that nobody else sees and saves us all!!” Is Hollywood even trying anymore? This is just a slap in the face. I have already seen this movie, twice. I do not need to see it again. I can only imagine that Cage/Coppola is actually going crazy in real life “Beautiful Mind” style and this is the only way that they could continue to make movies with him. In fact, he is not acting, he probably thinks that this is real life.


I can see it now. (Out to lunch with a friend)
(friend) “So I hear you are making a new movie”
(Nicky) - “Yeah I am- wait a second…Do you see that?”
“See…see what Nick, it’s just you and me here.”
“Your napkin! There is a serious of…. Numbers, greek letters, binary code…it’s no… it cannot be… It is my duty to take this challenge! I will save you cruel world!!” (sprints out of restaurant, napkin in hand, wild look in his eyes…)
(friend) “My god….” (then he vanishes)


Oh yeah did I mention he was his invisible friend?!? Snaps! Even that potentially 15 second snippet would be better than the filth that is being thrown our way right now. So please, do not see knowing, for if you do Nic Cage will decipher the code to make another code breaking movie.

Jottings that I will in no way try to encompass with a title

I have always loved the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but it has recently come to my attention that the guy who played the principal in that movie was charged a while back with child porn charges in real life. Doesn’t this make the movie 10x better? You now have even more reason to root for Ferris. And doesn’t he just look like a pedophile? I think after watching the eerily easy to hate character he portrayed with his Ron Jeremy mustache, we all should have seen this coming…

Don’t you just love how A-Roid is having all of these problems? I know I do! I feel like he somehow deserves this for his pompous self-righteous attitude he has carried himself with his whole career. Or maybe he just parked in too many handicapped spots while laughing at poor people, I don’t know. Either way it’s nice to know he’ll be out for the year or at the very least, be in pain every time he swings. I know this sounds cold and callous, but I just realllllly hate A-Roid (this nickname is here to stay folks!)

Although I am excited for the end of the big inflatable toilet as the twins stadium, and the incoming Target Field, I can’t help thinking we are giving up around 5 wins a year in the home-field advantage we will be somewhat losing. I only hope and pray the new leadership with offset this with a more aggressive spending strategy with the new revenue Target Field should theoretically bring in, if there is any money left in the world to bring in at that time that is.

With selection Sunday so close I must announce this, look at all of my 8-9 matchups and pick the opposite. I have gone 0-8 for the last 2 years. Conversely I own the 7-10 matchup, 7-1 in the last 2 years. It is ridiculous how bipolar I am in this sense. No doubt this trend will continue this year, I will try to altruistically post my picks so you know the predestined outcome when I have filled out my bracket (I am so pumped!!)
Teams I think will go farther than you would expect:
Wake Forest, UCLA, Washington, Villinova
Teams I think will be out sooner than you would expect:
LSU, Marquette, Illinois

Edward Rooney- We should have known...