NASCAR: code for Mensa?

Check out this vid Exactly how I envision the inner workings of NASCAR:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nascar_coach_reveals_winning

There's no place like less rock more talk for the holidays

At first, I thought the Giants were fools to rent AJ Pierzynski for perennial all-star closer Joe Nathan, the once cool Francisco Liriano, and Boof Bonser. But then I realized, they got rid of Boof Bonser, so they were the true winners. Seriously. His fastball is straighter than Brad Pitt in a strip club. (can that define straightness?? I mean if I were to make a crooked joke, I’d say Freddy Mercury at a Village people concert. Screw it, just think Brad Pitt in Fight Club... if that’s not straight I don’t know what is) Furthermore, the pitch always located with all the precision of a recovering meth addict with Parkinsons. I think if a sea lion mated with raccoon, and that offspring and a large turd produced a child, that child would be Boof Bonser.

Boof Bonser: I hate you. I’ve hated you since I first laid eyes upon you. I hate everything about you, your stupid face, your stupid name, the stupid red bulls you pound in incessantly with that “woe is me” look on your face. And now you are gone!!! (Cue up the stereotypical cinco de mayo celebratory trumpets… you know what I’m talking about people!) .

Can we just establish that this guys’ name is John, but wants to be called Boof. I know we’ve become desensitized to this being Twins fans over the years, but something is seriously not right about this. No one’s nickname should be Boof. Have fun with him Red Sox! Best of luck, and hope you like unmeasurable ERAs! (restraining….self…from…further…personal…attacks)

I apologize to anyone who has made one of these groups, and please prove me wrong- But I do not feel the whole If (unrealistic number) people join this group my (insert relationship to other person here) will (do something crazy/kick a bad habit/stop going on murderous rampages) is a reasonable way to attempt to do something crazy/kick a bad habit/stop going on murderous rampages.

*editors note- this blog does not condone murderous rampages regardless of the amount of people on facebook that support you not killing people without mercy. Please refrain from killing people no matter what happens on your profile on your social networking site of choice Thanks. *
If you want to quit smoking, quit smoking. If you can’t kick the habit on your own, elicit the support of your friends and family. I fail to see how the feigned support of 10,000 random strangers could persuade anyone to take some sort of action. This is reaching a “farmville/mobsters” zone of annoying aspects of facebook.

Facebook is a great way to keep with your friends, but let’s not make it into something it’s not with these annoying groups. Pretty please? K thanks

----These 2 guys support your quest to conquer mount Everest!! Only 39,998 people to go before you summon the courage to do so!

Also, when you google image search Boof Bonser, one of the results is Doug Funny. I don't know what this means. All I know is that I like it.