DS/Twins

An interesting thing you’ll note if you grace the halls of Concordia is these posters. The posters consist of advertising for the dining services. There are roughly infinity things wrong with this picture. First of all I’ll equate these to the advertising by the Census bureau in terms of just how flawed it is. Isn’t the census something we theoretically have to do anyway? Why are you wasting millions of dollars to try to convince someone to do something that is considered an obligation in your eyes? I didn’t do my census right away and nothing happened, eventually a guy started coming to our door, until we did it, and that was that. I was not swayed by all of the hip suburbanites who were having such an awesome time telling the federal government they were white in the commercials.

Similarly, I feel DS does not need to waste their time with awful posters around campus. Freshman and sophomores must, I repeat must, (some very crafty sophs excluded), live on campus and have a meal plan. Eating somewhere around twice a day for eight months will lead someone to make their own opinions a million times over. These underclassmen need no posters, they are already going to eat there because they have to. And not one of them after 2 full years doesn’t know -exactly- all of the pros and cons of continuing a meal plan there.

I feel insulted by the posters every time I look at them as well because to think they’d persuade even one person to go from not having a meal plan to having one is appalling. One of them says something along the lines of “20 dollars for an entrée, appetizer and dessert? Not here! With some smiling person in the background naturally eating there less than 20 dollar meal. I don’t drop 20 bucks a pop at any restaurant I frequently attend DS. Nobody is thinking, Hmm where can I pay less than 20 dollars for a decent meal in today’s day and age… where?!?!???

Dumb.

Save yourself some paper, ink, and four idiots time thinking up these posters, probably getting paid too much per hour from my tuition to advertise something that need not be advertised.

I filled out my census (eventually), and I had my mandatory meal plans. Both times have now passed. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to create a propaganda campaign to promote this new wave that will soon be sweeping the country, breathing!

Twins Talk 2010:
The Twinks are in first place and feeling fine. Francisco Liriano looks so great right now. I don’t know what happened. Maybe we all just rushed to judgement (oops), and forgot he’d undergone major elbow surgery, but wow. Fastball touching 97 at times, that same slider that lefty after lefty wave over by 6 inches, realizing only at the last moment how silly they are about to look.

This is not your Twins of old, either. We got guys that can drop bombs. Thome, although we could put against Vlad Guerrero in a “who looks like their legs are filled with country fried steak” contest, still mashes. Cuddyer, Kubel and Morneau are still home run threats. And Span, Hudson and Mauer look to be on pace to put up some crazy OBP numbers. I especially like this team because they are fun to watch. The old pitching and defense teams of old were efficient, and won division titles, but fizzled in the playoffs. Looking back, I was a bit of an optimist to think that an infield of Corey Koskie’s back, Cristian Guzman (guz- MAN) if you’re Jon Miller and have to pronounce everything properly in Spanish to remind us you can speak it sort of, Luis Rivas’s sorry ass, and Dougy fresh.

The lone flaw of the team is spotty starting pitching at times (See Blackburn, N), and of course the compost known in some cultures as Jesse Crain. (See above picture begrudgingly signing autographs to reduce value of goods he is signing) Recently I suggested online that “Jim Abbott’s nub could deliver better pitches than Jesse Crain.” After reflecting upon this further I decided this was a very unfair and unflattering statement to make… to Jim Abbott’s nub. I meant no disrespect Jim, I mean your nub was at least useful, you could put your glove on it when you pitched. To compare it or you in any way to Jesse Crain was wrong of me. Jesse Crain isnt useful. He can best be compared to having a microwave on a deserted island. Sure he throws hard/ can handily heat up food, but there is no plug in available/breaking pitch of any significance/ability to spot up/ soul (in both cases) to be found.

Let it be known that is was right here that America was first reminded that nobody wins the crane game…nobody. I pray every night that I am wrong, but I guess some prayers do go unanswered (sappy acoustic guitar in background) This picture has nothing to do with anything. I just think its awesome.