I know the world has many real problems. Budgets aren't getting balanced, global markets are fragile, Jerry Sandusky isn't locked away forever yet. But today, I learned of a true travesty that really embodies what a crazy messed up, almost poetically and tragically retarded the world is.
Allow me to explain.
One of my favorite series of books is the Jack Reacher series by Lee Child. He is an incredibly compelling hero in a variety of ways. He is a physically imposing ex Military Policeman with a history of violence and disobeying authority. He is a vagabond, intentionally nomadic because it is all that he knows. He is tragic in his flaws, but holds himself to a high moral code. So high is this moral code in fact, that he puts himself in physical danger to uphold what is right. . He can also often be found dining at lonely diners seeking cheeseburgers and coffee at all hours of the day. He is 6 foot 5, 250 pounds, immensely knowledgable, sharp, pragmatic and complex.
They are going to make a film based on one of my favorites, "One Shot." My father recently found this out, and told me Tom Cruise was going to be in the new One Shot movie. I told him, "Cool, who is going to play Reacher?" The horrific answer: Tom Cruise.
Let's get the obvious out of the way first: Tom Cruise is generously listed at 5'7" and 160 pounds. Fail. How can a character where so much of who he is, what he can do, and what he does is because he is so physically imposing be played by a man who can only be described as "fun sized??"
Fact number 2: Tom Cruise is insane. Jack Reacher is a no-nonsense straight shooter with a good sense of self and the world. Tom Cruise follows a "religion" in Scientology that was created by a science fiction writer that talks of lord Xenu and ancient alien souls being trapped and subsequently released from volcanoes. Somewhere between a cult and ponzi scheme, Cruise vehemently defends his beliefs when he is not jumping on Oprah's couch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znsXA2aTXCE Please.
Reacher would celebrate like a man, damnit...
Fact number 3. Tom Cruise is a shitty actor. His acting prowess ranges from (see below)
a) narcissistic sports agent
b)narcissistic friend of the handicapable
c)narcissistic white samurai
d) homosexual pilot...not that there's anything wrong with that.
Whomever was/is responsible for Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher should never have a job again. I can't think of a bigger slap in the face to Reacher fans or mankind. Because when I think of Tom Cruise, the last thing I think of is badass:
May Xenu have mercy on our souls...
