First of all, let me establish that if you have never sarcastically tried to pick out every flaw a movie has aloud with a friend, go rent a movie and do it immediately. It is the tops.
Let’s break down the matchup:
“Good Guys”
Professor Xavier (Can control stuff with his mind, easily the best power)
Wolverine (Badass)
Cyclops (Ok, but worthless without his little sunglasses)
Storm (An excuse to work Halle Berry into the film…I’m ok with it if you are)
Rogue (Loner that everyone wishes would go away, basically worthless)
That other chick (you can tell how much research goes into my posts…it’s because I care… You know the one that can also control stuff with her mind but not as well as Xavier)
Vs. the “Bad Guys”
Magneto (self explanatory- easily the 2nd best power)
Frog-guy (pathetic excuse for an x-man)
Mystique (a chameleon, really magneto’s only legitimate side kick)
And lastly, Sabretooth. Sabretooth is hilarious. There is a reason he is not in the sequel. Really X-Men? This is our evil super powerful villain? Everyone else has a legitimate super power. Some are lamer than others but that is neither here nor there. Sabretooth though, it’s like he’s kinda strong…I guess. I mean he’s big he has to be strong. He cannot compete against the others and their real super powers. It’s embarrassing. He is not a part of the X-Men, he is just a sort of big hairy guy. I think he actually hurts his team every time he does anything (insert standard Sebass Telfair joke here)
I think the next X-Men should feature the return of Sabretooth, where he starts his own Mutant boarding school for mutants with limited/not substantial powers. I can see it now, with his sidekick 20/10 vision boy, and maybe Meg Griffin from family guy, if anyone out there recalls the episode where she develops the power to grow her fingernails really fast. I think the Sabretooth-Meg metaphor is spot on but I feel further elaboration and comparison is for another time.
"I am a pathetic excuse for a mutant"- Sabretooth
No comments:
Post a Comment